NFL Kickoff


Well post weather delay the NFL Season for the year of 2013 of our lord has finally begun. I remember a few years ago when I was just a young NFL pup (I still am in comparison) when looking for a point of commonality I asked a housemate in a Packers jersey… “Oh it’s already football season again??”… to which he responded to somewhat seriously… “I think you mean… FINALLY… it’s started again. As a Seattle Seahawks fan this off-season has passed like a Middle-Age in Old Father Time’s inverted football shaped hourglass. That means minutes have passed like days…. speculation has turned my mind into a conspiracy theorists lair… and I know way too many facts about way too many people I don’t care about around the NFL from checking my phone for the latest tid-bit about what’s developing around my sacred ‘Hawks.

But now it begins. The couches will suffer and the beer will flow like wine and the salmon of the Capestrano. I will cook… nachos. And other unhealthy things to consume while I yell at a television. And my fantasy team will lose… because even though I have played Fantasy Football for 3 years now I am still so naive and terrible at it. Who’s coming with me?

For those of you who are not into football… I encourage you to be this year. Just keep an open ear. Football viewing is a lifetime skill, that is where the passion comes from. That’s an important sentence. All I ask is that you read my blog and when the Spectre of Football enters your daily life listen as if it we’re someone’s kid talking about his science project (it’s not that far off), or like an old woman talking about something cute like knitting. It’s the same shit. As a committed introvert I explored my addiction to this time wasting body smashing THING that had nothing to with my past, and it’s the drama men love. The NFL Season is a soap opera for men, or at least the masculine intended (I included you ladies!!!). And the smart ladies know this does not need to be a man thing. The smart ones have figured out how much fun it is to hang out on gameday… for it is your insecurity about the lack of knowledge of the game that you do not like. And you don’t like guys hitting eachother. We all get it. There’s more. Push yourself. Keep an open ear, look for amazement in physical accomplishment, competition, community around a centered focus, and a battle of a million minds coming down to miliseconds and inches. Every Sunday. Every Monday. And now Thursday. 😉 And it can be consuming. Your husband is no man if he REALLY blocks out all that time against you. I’m asking you to work with him. If you let him enjoy the game… he’s way more likely to fingerbang you or eat you out before coming next time.

Recap: Tonight Payton Manning went down 14 to nothing. He wants a Fucking Super Bowl Ring this year. And after watching this game I believe Football Robot can do it. He really is worth all the hype. he threw 7 god damn touchdown passes tying an all time record for MOST EVER!!!! against the RAVENS!!!!! Put up the MOST POINTS IN HISTORY AGAINST BALTIMORE (THE WORLD CHAMPS!!!). A team that has built its franchise in it’s defensive integrity… Wow. From down 14. I don’t know guys… these Broncos. A lot of people pick them to be in the Superbowl. I said B.S. until I saw Payton play tonight… not the guys in Orange… but the team with Payton on it… and then I saw their schedule. They play the Colts, the Cowboys, the Pats, and the Texans late. They will win every other game. That makes them at least a 10 win season, Payton is in the Playoffs… watch the fuck out. I think Broncos vs. Seahawks would be sweet.


Joe Cool (Flacco) was Cool. And I mean it. The 2012 and His Team theRavens are a Super Bowl worthy team. YES EVERYONE, they won the Super Bowl last year. Why does that just seem to fall on even my dead ears??? But they can be dangerous. I am glad they are not in my Seahawks schedule.  Flacco is the real deal, (let’s stop wasting pre-game time talking about that) he has more than proven to me he is a great QB with Super Bowl experience and confidence now that has been simply surrounded by a team who’s foundation was built on Defense. If I we’re the Ravens I would lick my wounds, chalk one up for Payton Manning, truly a legend in football (for whatever that means… 😉 ) and get ready for the rest of the season. If they stay healthy, they will be in the playoffs with the Donkeys in Orange… Football Robot at the control board.


Go Hawks.


also… some top hit nfl fan photos on google..






I’ve Never Been Alone Until Now (Demos)

alone jeff final  2

My life is measured in music… meaning when I am on my death bed the thoughts that will come to me will be like, “who have I loved?  and what have I done?”  One of the answers to that second question I asked is this…

Please listen to everything.

The Master (2012)

Well I knew this movie would be weird. It’s by P. T. Anderson (Magnolia, Boogie Nights, Punch Drunk Love, There Will Be Blood), and this is his latest project. Which snatched up a very hermitted Joaquin Phoenix after his recent (failed?) stunt to “fool the world” into believing he was a born again rapper. While Casey Affleck filmed it all. I haven’t seen the movie yet (although I’ve heard it’s… something), but I will see it soon. Puffy is apparently in it, and apparently Puffy’s not pleased.

The Master is about Scientology in from what I gathered to be the mid 1940’s or so. Phillip Seymour Hoffman plays the mock El Ron Hubbard without ever dropping the words Scientology or it’s creator’s actual real name. But it is no question that is the environment in which the story takes place.  It IS merely an environment though.  Don’t think you are about to see a movie about Scientology, probably something you’re too scared to even investigate because of “what you’ve heard”.  P. T. wouldn’t waste his time with your poppycock fears, he’s got more to say than that… I’m just not sure I always want to hear it.

This time I did.  Like Radiohead, P. T. is one of those entities that has survived long enough for me not to trust myself with my own opinion.  I Must keep checking back in.  Like a lot of worthy art, this movie is about what it means to be a human being.  How fucked up we are and how that’s ultimately Ok and With Punishment.  The struggles it takes to be a human being. The ways human beings try to heal and fix other human beings. The question of whether we are to be distinguished from animals.  Are we something more?  Says who?  El Ron (who I respect)?  And ultimately asks and answers the question of can misguided humans be saved? It says, no… but who’s saving who anyway?  It criticizes those who claim to save… Scientifically (all you Scientists!!!)… others that are made of the same flesh and blood, same atoms and Energy Fields.

People need help.  But let’s not forget you do too.  I do.  We all do.

Don’t offer help without first realizing you are just as poor.

So you got a suit on. But you’re lying.  Worst off to yourself… and it comes around.  Praise to those brave enough to sleep with the dead dog.

You still eat shit, but you’ve covered it with the gravy of sacrifice. And that’s what people tell me life is all about once they all start eating the same gravy.

Am I off topic here?

If you’ve seen a P. T. Anderson movie before you know they aren’t like the rest of them. There is an original formula here and perhaps maybe one of those types of art that inspires by making people want to understand it. Terminator 2 is art… but you know exactly why.   P. T. will make you figure it out… and it’s in there where his unphased spirits are dancing around my cerebral fire.

Paul Thomas Anderson

I hate Magnolia. I love Punch Drunk Love. Boogie Nights is cool because it’s about porn. Roller Girl is cool. William H. Macy is cool when he shoots his wife for being a bitch (IT’S A MOVIE, THAT’s WHERE WE”RE SUPPOSED TO SHOOT PEOPLE) . But I still don’t know if I LIKE that movie. There Will Be Blood… I… I… I just don’t know… I need to see it again.

Point being… before seeing this movie I would not have even called myself a P. T. Anderson fan.  Most people are drooling if they’re into him, and I’ve never met anyone who likes P. T. Anderson and hates Magnolia as much as I do. That movie sucks.  But I had to go see this movie because I gots respect for the man. The acting is always good (can not deny Daniel D. Lewis in There Will Be Blood). And the camera work is always really, really good. Like lens choice and color correction/color scheme type stuff.  These both hit the mark. Joaquin Phoenix’s (not so) big return is spectacular. That man acts in scenes in this movie that earn him Double Rainbow Oscars for Decades.  Seriously.  But this is because he is a psychopath in real life too. Or just awesome and misunderstood, like me.  Anyways, Joaquin.. I don’t care. You ruled my world.

Phillip is always good. So I will see anything he is in. He is convincing in character, and that is the true job of an actor. Many actors are good because they are cute and can Entertain doing one thing (Clint Eastwood, and yes my older friends even Robert Redford are guilty here). Phillip Seymore Hoffman can Fucking Act.  Pay the man.

In conclusion… P. T. Anderson movies are just really, really weird. Sometimes good. And mostly really, really weird. You want to see Joaquin Phoenix masturbate into the ocean, fingerbang a sandwoman , and walk back and forth trying to tell the difference between a wall and a window… go see The Master.  Half the time I had no real idea what was going on… but I could Think about it. For those of you who enjoy such challenges… keep enjoying art like The Master.

In Cold Blood – Truman Capote

In Cold Blood by Truman Capote is unlike any other book I’ve ever read. The subject matter is intensely dark, and the entire novel simply reads differently. What is it about his particular style that captured the attention and praise of so many? For one thing, Truman Capote is as good of an observer as he is a writer. In Cold Blood communicates because the dust in the Kansas wind is there blowing across the pages. The autumn color scheme is right. And the characters are real.

No really, they are. This book is non-fiction and written much like an over detailed press release about a real quadruple homicide that happened in Garden City, Kansas in 1959. This much is known without turning a page.  In fact, four dark eyes don the inside cover of the hardback copy I was reading. They are the eyes of the two killers. Upon first seeing them I glanced over them and moved onto the material.  When I completed the book, I wanted to see what year it had been published, I turned to the front page and again was forced to stare into these four eyes on the inside cover.  But this time I needed to study them for a while. I had learned so much about these men, looked at them from all angles, felt all sorts of feelings regarding them, and yet all I could do was just stare at those four eyes and ask more questions.

The story is incredibly sad, I am warning you.  But it’s redemption comes in the form of what all living beings must learn to deal with… super fucked up shit that is unbelievably, unbearably, and unimaginably fucked.  It happens everyday.  It’s sad, and I give credit to Capote for staring back at the dead dog on the side of the road everyone drives by. Yeah, there’s something beautiful there. It ain’t gonna kill you if you look at it. Truman wanted to know what it was like to be a man who murders. This of course, does not make you a murderer. But many would be too scared to stick their nose in a blood splattered bedroom, and ask why? What path led to this? Just how different are these killers than you and me?

And the world wanted to know.

Born Truman Streckfus Persons    (Truman Capote)

Team USA — Dream Team 2012

Yeah… so I usually keep my sports and my art separated, at least for the sanity of the public.  But I can’t help from sharing these pics of some professional basketball players who do inspire me.  I don’t care if they’re cocky, or rich, or hated by most… I like ’em, and I look up to them.  Kobe and Le Bron more than anyone.  Well done guys, despite what haters think… this is not an easy thing to do.  Congrats on your gold medal.  Some facts…

Carmelo Anthony became the Olympics highest scoring player in a single game scoring 37 points against Nigeria.  He accomplished this before the end of the third quarter.  (Keep in mind he’s beating Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, and Michael Jordan too!!!)

Atta boy Carmelo… too bad you’ll never get that Championship ring.   (Ohhhh!)

The United States also broke the record for overall points scored in a game (156), the most 3-pointers (26, 10 of 12 by Carmelo), most field goals in a game (59), and field goal percentage (71%).  Damn!  Good luck Nigeria!

Here’s the American Boys… A shout out to Kobe too for telling the honest truth in the face of those who will judge him for being “cocky”.  He’s not cocky, he’s right.  I don’t mind what many perceive as “cockyness” if you can back it up daily.  Kobe does, and he’s worked hard for it, and he’s gotten it… that’s why he doesn’t give a shit about you.  It’s real easy to judge from the sidelines.  And it’s pretty much impossible to deny it takes much bigger balls to get on the court and risk failure than to trash talk someone at the top.  You’re so exposed.  So just stop bringing pointless negativity into the world.  You watch these guys and secretly marvel in your own head at their talents.  Just leave it there, and stop embarrassing yourself around people who aren’t so jaded.

TEAM USA doin’ it.

The monster reverse jam.  Classy and difficult.  Plus, that is so Ginobilli’s bald spot right?


On the flipside, you have Durant… who is the most humble basketball player in the game.  Also gains massive respect.

The King becomes the only other player besides Michael Jordan to win the league MVP, the NBA Finals, the NBA Finals MVP, and the Olympic Gold Medal in the same year.  Like I said… give him a break.

I think that’s a line-up of Kevin Durant, Carmelo Anthony, Chris Paul, LeBron James, and Kobe.

Good love.

The smartest player currently in the game.


Caine’s Arcade


In the past year, much to my surprise, arcades have grown to become something I love the most here. People, mountains and rivers, soccer, music, movies, beer, traveling, and arcades. I have started seeking them out. I take note of the pinball machines in the corners of dark places. If there’s an arcade machine, I play it. This story is good even if Caine was just building a mechanics shop. But he’s not, he’s building an arcade. I want to play.


Smoking. What are those tiny particles? Gas. ? Smoke. If we weren’t supposed to smoke would the body be so adaptable to it? Maybe. The body is the toughest most delicate thing right? Tough enough to survive 20 years of heroin (in some cases), and soft enough to be punctured. Some live beings aren’t really like that. But they gave human’s the benefit of the doubt physically. Made them able to smoke.

So what are we smokin? Weed? Tobakee? Crack. Meth. Can you smoke anything that’s not a drug? Just think about it for a second that’s all i’m asking. You put fire to this solid substance, intake, it’s swirls inside you… the little pieces escape their buddies and intermix with the interstates of your body. They ride the best waterslide ever up to your brain. You take another drag.



I was lucky enough to go see Gauguin at the S.A.M. on Saturday.  I never make a point of going to these art shows myself, but after invitations to go see last year’s Picasso exhibit and this year’s Gauguin, I will make sure to get my ass there in the future.  Such inspiration!  I have left both shows an artist with more artistic gold than I walked in with.  (Artistic gold will not buy you a sandwich.)

So all I heard about Gauguin before I went to this show was that he liked to nail 14 year old girls.  And apparently he did.  Some of his most famous paintings are of these 14 year old Polynesian girls nude.  What else is there to say about that?  He’s an artist.  Artists often disregard societal norms to ensure the freedom needed to be a decent artist.  It was a while ago… and none of my business… I’m gonna let it slide this time.

Plus, he died of complications from syphilis and a prison sentence at 54.  Things have a way of working themselves out.

The art!  The S.A.M. rocked it.  I have really only been to a handful of art shows and it doesn’t take you very long to realize that the presentation is key to the success of the show.  S.A.M. created a fabulous experience that not only chronologically took you through Gauguin’s works, but also incorporated Polynesian art that revealed his influences.

Now everyone will talk about Gauguin’s colors.  Sure, he used interesting colors.  But I like his little alien men.

Arii Matamoe

If you look closely, in the upper right hand corner there is an alien man.  These guys are awesome!!!  I say alien.  Art critic would say Polynesian tiki influenced.  I would say Polynesan Tiki’s are influenced by aliens!  Look at these guys.

There’s tons of these at the Gauguin show.  Some big, some small, and they’re all real tiki’s from the Polynesian region (and one from New Zealand).  Along with the Polynesian swag there are dance clubs, warrior clubs, headdresses, information on tattoos.

Extra info real quick…

the dance club had a penis (i’m not joking)

The warrior club was so intimidating that if I saw a man holding it I would run in the opposite direction.

The headdress was made from a shiny shell and a carved turtle shell that had been roasted and reformed over a fire.

Tattoos used to be your scout badges and i.d.  Certain people could only get into certain events etc. if they had the tattoo.  Lots of good stuff.

So Gauguin, was a Frenchman born in Peru, spent time in Paris, went to Polynesia, he was always traveling.  He was a wood carver, a writer… and a painter we still talk about.  He captured the sad ladies of Polynesia.  Women (real women just like you) obviously unfulfilled and confused yet content with boredom.  That’s like trying to paint a hotel heater and making the viewer feel something.  It’s just an interesting subject to focus on.  Which makes me think he could’ve painted anything and communicated something.

To Gauguin!

After the show, I was talking with Molly, and the 14 year old girl thing came up.  I said, “Yea… kinda weird that he nailed 14 year olds.  And she said, “if you wouldn’t have known that, would some of the paintings on the nude girls be different.  wouldn’t they just be… beautiful?”  I had to agree.

The Walking Dead — Season 1 (2010)

The Walking Dead. Have you heard of it? THE. best show on television? Fans like fans of Bowie confirm The Walking Dead. This shit is apparently a big deal. What? Zombies? Are you kidding me? Haven’t we had enough of that? Another one…

i’m going easy on you

Well Ok. Somebody actually thought this through. And jesus christ; good for you AMC.  AMC quickly racked up 3 top notch shows… Mad Men, The Walking Dead, and the The Killing. But back to this…

Yes. This shit is intense. Like, so intense everyone watching it wonders why it’s legal for television. They must have read the guidelines to keep it safe, and written a script based on surfing those lines. But then we ask the question… you can’t fuck on screen, you can’t cuss… but you can shoot your friend in the head when their lower half is visibly made of stomach entrails?

Still listening? Well, then you might be a fan of The Walking Dead. If that grossed you out though… beyond interest; then you might want to stick to kale and Parks and Recreation.

Acting?… sure, it’s TV. It’s not the actors fault, it’s production’s fault.  We’re used to the movies… television is not movies.  Million Dollar Budgets.  A shout out to the overall production of The Waling Dead.  I imagine shows like Boardwalk Empire; and such are keeping par.  But it’s been a while since I enjoyed a “television drama” as much as this.

What is “drama”?  (I’m serious)

As far as the plot goes, people love this show because the story is like a consistent class 5 rapid on an intense canyon rever-bend.  No minute of your time or focus is left wasted. You are involved and it builds. Oh No.        Oh fuckno.  ohh   oh no Run! Oh GOD@ ZOMBIES!!!!!!  Zombies I BELIEVE IN!!!

it gets silent

I am alone. I call out to my cat Moneypenny. I look over my shoulder to make sure the door is safety locked. Damnit I took the bars off the windows today. Now the zombies can just break the glass and come in and tear up my flesh. make me one of them.  my brain, just a thumping appetite for cannibalism.  dead but alive.  will i wake before they bite me. can  I fight them off with a baseball bat?